2002-02-13T16:09:00.000Z

Written by Jocelyn Rose

Teaser

ANGEL (VO)
Hi, honey, I'm home!

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

We're in Fifties Sitcom Land. Angel's POV as the camera pans round an unnaturally tidy and shiny room. Vases of flowers etc.

BUFFY (OS)
Oh, there you are!

Buffy comes in and they kiss. He is in a dark suit, tie, with briefcase. She is in Doris Day mode.

BUFFY
How was your day, darling?

He follows her through a doorway into the

INT. KITCHEN - DAY

Also shiny. Lined with the latest appliances. Those gingham cafe-style curtains. Angel sits down as Buffy starts laying the table.

ANGEL
Oh, you know, the office...
(He exhales, shakes his head)
Hey - how about a little cocktail
before dinner?

Cut to:

Buffy, who looks worried, then

BUFFY
Sure, honey.
Now, you stay right there.
I know just how you like it...

She goes out.

ANGEL
(over his shoulder, to Buffy in the other room)
How about you?
What did you get up to today?

BUFFY (OS)
Oh, you know...
I went to the store.
(a beat)
They've got this new kind of polish,
it's really neat. It comes in a can.
(coming back in with drinks)
Look...
Don't you think things are
(a beat)
(a little laugh)
shiny?

Angel drinking, looking round the room.

BUFFY
And I ran into that guy,
the one I told you about?
(a beat)
He was asking me whether I'd
(swallows)
changed my mind...

Angel slams his hand with the glass in it down on the table. The drink spills.

ANGEL
Now, we've been over
this and over this...
(his voice starting to rise)

BUFFY
(hesitant)
Yes, I know, honey,
but it would only be
for the mornings...

ANGEL
(falsetto)
"Only for the mornings"
(his anger growing)
Yeah. That's how it
starts. And then,
before you know it...

He starts to get up.

BUFFY
(frightened)
Honey, please...

A saucepan starts to boil over. She turns towards it.

BUFFY
(to distract him)
Aren't you gonna
get changed for dinner?

ANGEL
(in vamp face)
Yes, I'll change...

She turns, sees him, screams.

Cut to:

INT. ANGEL'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Angel jerking awake. It was only a dream. Phew.

END OF TEASER

Act One

EXT. A BEACH SCENE WITH PALM TREES - DAY

Hawaiian guitar music.

The camera pulls back slightly till we see it's actually

INT. HYPERION HOTEL FOYER - EVE

Cordelia is holding a postcard with the beach scene on it.

CORDELIA
'Having a wonderful time,
wish you were here.'
Boy. English guys.
(a beat)
Hey, when'm I due some holiday?

ANGEL
(preoccupied)
Any time...
(looks up)
Well, not at the moment of course,
with Wesley away and Gunn...

CORDELIA
(her stuck-in-an-empty-hotel-with-a-vampire expression)
Where did my life go?
(She starts to scream)

Cordy's vision: ships at a quay. The sea. A group of vampires surround a young woman. Handcuffs. Fire.

ANGEL
(holding Cordelia's shoulders)
What is it? Where?

CORDELIA
It's at the docks...too many...
Oh! She's trapped! Oh, save her...

As Cordelia collapses, Angel catches her, hoists her in his arms. Is heading for the couch to lay her down; changes his mind and heads for the rear door.

ANGEL
Just you and me, then.

Exit to get the car.

EXT. CITY STREET - NIGHT

Angel driving, looks across to Cordelia hunched up and moaning in the passenger seat.

EXT. DOCKS - NIGHT

View from above of a circle of vampires round a car (not a convertible) parked near the edge of the quay. Black water. Angel's car approaches and the camera

swoops down as Angel drives into the circle, knocking down a couple of the vampires, pulls away and stops (with a screech, probably). Angel leaps out and attacks the vampires.

Various slayings. As he dusts the last one, we see behind Angel the closed car on fire.

ANGEL
(looking round, but not towards the burning car)
Where's the woman?

CORDELIA
(pointing)
Angel!

Angel runs to the car, opens the door but a sheet of flame shoots out and he falls back. Inside the car, we see the woman. She is handcuffed to the steering wheel.

Angel looks towards the edge of the quay.

Cut to:

EXT. QUAY - CONTINUING

Angel pushing the blazing car towards the edge of the quay. As it gets there and starts to fall, he strips off his coat.

ANGEL
Nobody puts on the parking brake these days.

He dives into the water.

EXT. UNDERWATER - NIGHT

Through the open door of the car, Angel pulls at the steering wheel. It snaps off and the woman falls out of the car towards him.

EXT. WATER SURFACE - NIGHT

A lifebelt slaps down on to the water as Angel surfaces, the badly-burned woman in his arms. Her head hanging down.

Cut to:

EXT. STONE STEPS - NIGHT

Cordelia crouches at the foot of the steps above the water, reaching out.

Cut to:

EXT. QUAY - NIGHT

Angel and Cordelia kneeling beside the woman who's lying face down, her hair obscuring her face. Angel's doing artificial respiration (not the kind that needs breath). Suddenly she shudders, and water comes out of her mouth. Cordelia leans over and gently pushes back her hair as her eyes open and she coughs. Her face is a mess.

EXT. STREET - NIGHT

The camera moves from the woman lying on the back seat of Angel's car, her face obscured once more, to Angel driving and Cordelia in the passenger seat.

CORDELIA
Which hospital is nearest, do you think?

ANGEL
We're not taking her to a hospital.

CORDELIA
What? But she's not...
(looks over at her)

ANGEL
This is one for the Demon Doctor.

CORDELIA
The...
(realises)
Oh.
(a beat)
There's a doctor? For demons?

Cut to:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

The demon doctor, a fussy little man, is putting his things together ready to leave.

CORDELIA
Are you sure? The burns look really...

DEMON DOCTOR
Young lady, you may rest assured.
(Did we mention he's really pompous, too?)
In these cases, the healing process is very rapid.
She'll soon be...good as new.

ANGEL
Thank you, doctor.

DEMON DOCTOR
(thinking of his bill)
And the address here is...?

Cut to:

INT. HOTEL BEDROOM - NIGHT

It's an anonymously-furnished room, but quite large, so that as the camera pans in slowly towards the still figure in the bed we don't see till the last moment that the bandaged face with the closed eyes is Buffy's.

END OF ACT ONE

Act Two

INT. HOTEL BEDROOM - DAY

Same room, same POV, only the figure's head is turned away.

A knock on the door.

The head turns. It's the burned woman (PSYCHE).

PSYCHE
Come in.

It's Angel, with a tray.

ANGEL
How are you feeling?
(a beat, as he takes in the state of her)
OK, silly question...

PSYCHE
No, it's not as bad as it looks...
Turn away for a moment.

Close up on Angel's face as he: looks puzzled; turns his head away; looks back. The light dawns.

Close up on Psyche's face: the burns are gone.

ANGEL (OS)
Ah.
You're a shapeshifter.

PSYCHE
That's right.
Psyche.

ANGEL
Angel.

PSYCHE
Thanks for saving me.

ANGEL
You're welcome.

Cut to:

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

A crashing noise - it's Wesley in a very loud shirt, dropping his suitcases.

WESLEY
Where is everyone?

CORDELIA
(appearing from behind the counter - Wesley jumps)
Well, Gunn's off hangin' with his homies...
(or a more up-to-date expression)
and Angel's upstairs taking breakfast
to our new houseguest.
Who is, guess what, a demon.

WESLEY
(interested)
Oh yes?

ANGEL (OS)
She didn't want any breakfast...

Angel comes down the stairs, avoiding the pool of morning sunlight (if any).

ANGEL
Wesley! Why the suitcases?
(a beat)
You sublet your apartment just for a fortnight?

WESLEY
(not getting it)
What?
(getting it)
No, I just looked in on my way home
to see what was new...
Demons, apparently.

ANGEL
A shapeshifter demon. We saved her
from a set of vampires - Cordy had a vision.

WESLEY
A shapeshifter, eh?
You don't see too many of them -
at least, you don't think you do.

CORDELIA
What? You mean she can turn into...

ANGEL
Well, for instance she can turn into
someone who's not horribly disfigured
by burns. Which makes things difficult,
because you forget...
(He turns and looks back up the stairs)
That she is horribly disfigured.

WESLEY
What did the vampires want with her?

ANGEL
(absently)
I didn't ask her...

He heads back up the stairs.

INT. HOTEL BEDROOM AS BEFORE - DAY

Psyche looks round as she hears the door open (Angel's POV). She's out of bed, wearing a long non-revealing nightgown and bandages, standing in front of the open door of an empty closet.

PSYCHE
Silly - I was looking for my clothes, but of course...

Her eyes roll up in her head and as she starts to sway, Angel moves into shot, blocking our view of her. He catches her as she falls.

Cut to:

Close up of Angel's face looking down in horror and shock at the unconscious woman in his arms who, as the camera moves down and away from them, we see is Buffy.

Blackout.

PSYCHE (VO)
Let me guess...

INT. THE SAME

Psyche is lying on the bed, propped up on pillows: Angel is sitting beside her, facing away.

PSYCHE
I turned into the love of your life,
who was lost to you under tragic and
heartrending circumstances and you
never expected to see her again ever.

Pause

ANGEL
Close enough.

PSYCHE
Happens every time.
(a beat)
Of course, I'm making an assumption
here by saying 'her'.

Pause. Angel gives her a look.

PSYCHE
I'm sorry: that was crass.
(Pause)
If you knew how many times this
has happened to me...

ANGEL
Well, it's never happened to me.

PSYCHE
Of course not. I'm sorry.

A longer pause.

ANGEL
(clears his throat: let's get businesslike)
So, let me just...This happens
when you lose consciousness, right?

PSYCHE
Yes, because it's my mind that controls
my shape...It only happens when the
other person's image is very strong
in the mind of the person I'm with.

ANGEL
So, if you'd passed out before I arrived...

PSYCHE
No, this one's stronger than that.
She fills the building, if you're in it...
(looks round the room)
But if you were miles away, I might be
someone different,
someone who used to be here.
The room remembers...This is an old place.
Lots has happened.

ANGEL
(remembering)
Yes...
But how do you know...

PSYCHE
What I change into?
(a beat)
People tell me...You just told me.

Angel looks away.

PSYCHE
Sometimes
they tell me who to be.

ANGEL
What?

PSYCHE
I was going to ask you
(a beat)
if you'd like...You wouldn't have
to pay or anything. Sort of a thank you.

A pause.

ANGEL
(slowly)
If I'd like what?

PSYCHE
Well, if you'd like me to be...
that person. The one that you miss.

A very long pause.

ANGEL
And do what?

Psyche rolls back sexily on the pillows, one hand caressing her breast. She runs her tongue along her upper lip.

PSYCHE
Whatever you want.

A very very long pause. Perhaps the camera pans round the room from her face to his. Whatever, his face is inscrutable until

ANGEL
(revolted)
Is that how you make your living?

PSYCHE
Yeah...How do you make yours?

ANGEL
I...help people.

PSYCHE
Before that.

Angel stares at her.

ANGEL
(touche)
OK
(a beat)
How do you know that?

PSYCHE
You're the vampire with a soul, right?
Everyone knows that.
(a beat)
Well, every demon.

Angel stands up, turns to leave.

ANGEL
Look, you can stay here till you're healed.
Really healed, I mean, not just...
(He waves a hand.)
But then I want you to go.

Close up on Psyche's face as we hear the door close. Her made-a-mistake expression.

PSYCHE
Damn.

END OF ACT TWO

Act Three

INT. CARITAS - NIGHT

Someone is belting out 'I Only Wanna Be With You'

LORNE
I don't get it.

ANGEL
What's not to get? They're exploiters.
They prey on vulnerable
people, suck them in, get them
hooked...drain 'em dry!

LORNE
Perhaps not a good metaphor, coming from you...

Angel shrugs.

LORNE
Look, it's a service.
People have a choice.
If that's what they want...

ANGEL
It's disgusting.

LORNE
Say it was someone
whose partner had died
and they wanted...?

ANGEL
It's still disgusting.

LORNE
Oh hey, what's the view like
from the moral high ground there?

Angel snorts.

LORNE
Are you sure this isn't just about
the 'she morphed into my honey' thing?

ANGEL
Look, I'm tired of hearing this.
OK, it was a shock, I admit it,
but I'm over that now. It's not
about that. It's about...

Looks over in frustration to the singer, who's just got to

KARAOKE SINGER
"I fell into your open arms
And I didn't stand a chance..."

ANGEL
And I don't want to hear 'you're a vampire,
who are you to talk' either, OK?

LORNE
All right, keep your wig on, ducky.
I have heard something about this.

ANGEL
Well, why didn't you say so?

LORNE
It's such fun to watch you get annoyed...

EXT. APARTMENT BLOCK EXTERIOR - NIGHT

Angel getting out of his car in front of a doorway with a small elegant sign 'Living Dreams'.

LORNE (VO)
There's a small group of
them got together.
Shapeshifters.
They set up a sort of...

ANGEL (VO)
Brothel?

INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT

Angel knocking on a door with another 'Living Dreams' sign.

LORNE (VO)
You're doing it again!

The door opens.

(Everything about Living Dreams is entirely tasteful, subtle, a bit minimalist even - in fact it's the opposite of the demon brothel in Warzone. Because, it's not a brothel, is it?)

MRS SNOW
Welcome!
Please do come in.

Mrs S is very beautiful, immaculately turned out, mid-40s.

INT. LIVING DREAMS FOYER - NIGHT

MRS SNOW
This is your first time, I can tell.
(gets form from a drawer)
I'll just need a few details...

Phone rings.

MRS SNOW
Oh, excuse me...
(picks phone up, listens. Turns away from Angel.)
She what?
(covers mouthpiece with her hand. To Angel:)
Would you mind very much taking
a seat in the waiting room?
I'll just be a minute.

Camera follows Angel as he goes through the doorway.

MRS SNOW (OS)
Foolproof, I though you said...(fading)

INT. LIVING DREAMS WAITING ROOM - NIGHT

The room is lined with chairs. About ten people (women as well as men), all looking at Angel.

A beat.

They all look away.

ANGEL
(under breath)
(OK, but you know what I mean)
Quite an operation.

He sits down next to an ancient man in a wheelchair.

ANGEL
Hi.

ANCIENT MAN
Good evening, young fella.

Awkward pause.

ANGEL
Do you, um...

ANCIENT MAN
Haven't seen you here before.

ANGEL
No, it's my first time.

ANCIENT MAN
Heh! First time, huh? Son, you're
gonna love it. I come here all the time.
Can't get it at home no more, at my age.
Course, it's not cheap here,
but I'm not short of cash.
Plenty of that. Heh.
Had me some of them
trophy wives...four of 'em.
One after the other.
Married me thinkin' they
wouldn't have long to wait.
I sure fooled 'em!
Wore 'em out, the bitches.
(a beat)
Trouble is, they're all wise to me now...
Why I come here! It's the only place.

ANGEL
But surely, in LA...aren't there lots of...

ANCIENT MAN
Cat houses? Sure. But if I'd wanted
an ugly old whore, I'd have
stuck with my first wife!
(gives Angel a nudge)
Here you can have
whatever you want.

ANGEL
So I heard.

ANCIENT MAN
Me, I'm going through sort
of a Hitchcock phase at the moment.
Ice maidens? You know, I got
Grace Kelly, I got Eva Marie Saint,
I got...who's the one that couldn't act?

ANGEL
Tippi Hedren?

NB Substitute Kim Novak, if Tippi's likely to sue.

ANCIENT MAN
(reminiscence mode)
Maybe I'll get back together with
Rita Hayworth some time soon...
She'll warm me up all right.

ANGEL
So, it's a bit like that film with
Russell Crowe...

ANCIENT MAN
Yeah, but without the surgery.
(Muses)
That can't have been cost-effective,
you know. Hey, but that reminds
me of something I heard...
now, what was it?
Something nasty...

MRS SNOW
If you'd like to step into the office, Mr...?

INT. LIVING DREAMS OFFICE - NIGHT

MRS SNOW
So - how did you hear about
Living Dreams, Mr Jensen?

ANGEL
From a friend...
Nathan Reed, I think it was.

MRS SNOW
(suddenly more friendly, if that's possible)
Oh, you're with Wolfram and Hart?

ANGEL
I've done some work with them, yes...

MRS SNOW
I'll need to get another file.
(gets up)
We have a special arrangement
for our friends at Wolfram and Hart.

As she crosses to the filing cabinet she looks back towards Angel and catches sight of her own reflection in the mirror - but there's no Angel there. Smiles slightly - just checking. She opens the drawer.

Cut to:

A view down into the drawer as Mrs S pulls out a file, opens it enough so we see there's a photo of Angel inside.

INT. OFFICE - AS BEFORE

Mrs Snow with the file, goes back and sits at her desk.

Cut to:

Mrs Snow's finger on the panic button under the desk

MRS SNOW
(not so friendly now)
Where's Psyche, Mr - Jensen?

Cut to:

Angel's face, expressionless.

ANGEL
Why do you want to know?

MRS SNOW
Our business with her is unfinished.

The door bursts open.

END OF ACT THREE

Act Four

INT. OFFICE - AS BEFORE

The door bursts open and in charge four vampires. A fight, including Mrs Snow who morphs into various gruesome beasties as she joins in. At one point the fight goes out into

INT. LIVING DREAMS FOYER - AS BEFORE

and we see in the background the waiting clients hurriedly leaving. The Ancient Man wheels himself up to Angel, who's in mid-slay. Not fazed at all. (The Ancient Man, I mean.)

ANCIENT MAN
You're doing fine, son -
I'll see ya next week.

ANGEL
OK, yeah...

The last vampire is giving Angel more trouble than the others, till he hurls it across the room and it ends up looking surprised, facing the camera, a stake protruding from its chest.

The vampire dusts. Behind it, a small girl is standing with a stake in her hand.

Pause.

ANGEL
(removing various pointed things from his person)
Oh no - I can't cope with this...
Could you change into something else please?

SMALL GIRL
(looks down at herself)
Oh, sorry: these are my work clothes.

She morphs into a grownup.

ANGEL
Is that really you?

SHAPESHIFTER
Well, there isn't a 'me'
in the way you mean.
Unless I'm one of those.
(indicates the serpentine remains of Mrs Snow)

Close up of Angel, not coping with this.

Cut to:

INT. LIVING DREAMS OFFICE - AS BEFORE

Angel and the Shapeshifter.

SHAPESHIFTER
We were doing fine, till the vampires took over.
They were working for some law firm...

ANGEL
Wolfram and Hart...

SHAPESHIFTER
At first we thought they were
just in it for special deals,
you know, discounts for their
clients. Then they got rid of our
administrator - we didn't have a manager,
we were a collective, you know?
Anyway, they brought in...
(gestures to Mrs Snow's desk)
And suddenly, there was no more
money: we got put on a weekly wage,
and there were all these rules...
It just wasn't good any more.
So Psyche said she was gonna leave.
But they had a rule about that too.

ANGEL
You couldn't.

SHAPESHIFTER
You could, but if you did
they said they would disfigure you
and then take away your powers,
so you'd be that way for ever.

Flashback to:

EXT. QUAYSIDE - NIGHT

Psyche in the burning car.

SHAPESHIFTER (VO)
Please...
What happened to Psyche?

Cut to:

EXT. HYPERION HOTEL - NIGHT (establishing)

INT. HYPERION HOTEL - NIGHT

Angel, Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn.

ANGEL
I don't care. I don't care what
happened to her. I told her
she could stay till she healed,
but if she's gone, she's gone.
She made a choice. That's it.
I don't wanna know about it.

WESLEY
You're not being very rational
about this, are you?

ANGEL
Since when do I have to be rational?
I'm not Dr Spock, you know.

WESLEY
Er - I think you mean Mister Spock.
Dr Spock was a paediatrician.

The old ones are the best...

ANGEL
Yeah. Whatever.

He leaves. The door slams.

CORDELIA
What is his deal?
He lives 240 years, he
doesn't notice?

GUNN
Notice what?

CORDELIA
What women do!
(pause. They're not getting it.)
That's what we do, right?
We turn ourselves into
whatever men want!
Because...they're the
ones with the power.

GUNN
Oh yeah?
You turn yourselves, how?

CORDELIA
(a beat, while she looks at Wesley, back to Gunn)
Oh, come on.
With the hair. The makeup.
The clothes...The shoes!

She raises a foot, turns it, looks down at her shoe appreciatively.

Gunn and Wesley exchange glances.

GUNN & WESLEY
(unison)
Yeah, right.

END OF ACT FOUR

Coda

EXT. THE SQUARE OUTSIDE THE HOTEL - LATE AFTERNOON

A middle-aged woman sitting on a bench. Feeding the pigeons. (Not chickens, David - you're all right.)

EXT. THE SAME - LATER

The camera approaches the bench from behind (Angel's POV). The pigeons have gone.

ANGEL
What are you doing?

WOMAN
Watching.

ANGEL
Who are you watching?

WOMAN
You.

As she looks up at him, she morphs and we see it's Psyche.

ANGEL
(not surprised)
OK, and for $64...why?

(Angel would know that it's only $64 - not $64,000, as inflation would have it.)

PSYCHE
Your colleagues are worried about you.

ANGEL
My ex-colleagues, that would be.

PSYCHE
Whatever. They asked me to keep an eye.

ANGEL
And I'm asking you not to.

PSYCHE
Oh. And you're going to stop me how?

Angel turns away, takes a grappling hook from under his coat, throws it up to the eaves of the building alongside. Starts to swing himself up.

Cut to:

EXT. ROOFTOP - TWILIGHT

Angel on the roof, turning to straighten up after he picks up the hook, as a large bird flies up between him and the camera. It's some sort of eagle (not a chicken). As it lands it morphs: Psyche again, crouching at Angel's feet.

ANGEL
(now he is surprised)
I didn't know you could do that.

PSYCHE
(straightening up)
I don't usually do it in front of people.

CORDELIA (VO)
I didn't know you could do that!

Cut to:

INT. CORDY'S APARTMENT - EVE

Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn are hearing the story from Psyche.

PSYCHE
(shrugs, smiles)
Well...

WESLEY
But can you change yourself into any animal?

CORDELIA
She was a bird, not an animal.
(off their looks)
What?

PSYCHE
Pretty much, but...

GUNN
So you could be a, a cockroach, right?

CORDELIA
Ew!

GUNN
...and you could get into the Wolfram
and Hart building...

CORDELIA
Cockroaches can get everywhere, right?
(looking round)
Except here, of course.

An aerosol can rises of its own accord from a shelf. Squirts.

CORDELIA
Thanks, Dennis.

GUNN
...and you could...

PSYCHE
That's what Angel said.

WESLEY
What, you mean you discussed this with...
(coughs)
...Angel had cockroach thoughts?

PSYCHE
But, see, the thing is: when I'm that
small, it's hard. I have to put everything
into staying small. Focus in. There's nothing
left for...surveillance. Cos, if I lose
concentration, well...
(blowing-up gesture)

WESLEY
And if you happened to be inside
someone's filing cabinet at the time...

PSYCHE
Exactly.